You might be wondering what you’re looking at above. It’s a potato bin in a 99 cent store with an old women rooting through it. I love the 99 cent store and here in Los Angeles for some reason there are an ungodly number of stores. From where I work there are two equidistant and only one block away from me. Packaged food, produce, holiday decorations, old DVD’s, hardware supplies, school supplies, plants, fine china, and the list goes on and on.
I don’t remember if 99 cent stores existed anywhere else that I lived and I must have only been to one before I moved to LA. Now I go there a few times a week. It’s usually how I spend my morning and/or afternoon break. Browsing the aisles and paying with change. Today I went on my morning break because; I knew they had tin snips so I got those and some other provisions. The worst part about the store is the lines. WTF? Everything is 99 cents how come it takes so long to it ring up? Here are a few factors to consider:
Average age of shopper
The age of the average 99 cent store shopper is somewhere around 72 for males, 80 for females, and 76 for transgender persons. How did I get these stats? They are the average death ages for Americans. All these old people roaming around loading their carts with stuff. It must be convenient for them because, everything is cheap and they’re barely surviving on Medicare, also they only need to go to one store for everything. So now that they have toilet paper, hot pockets, and aloe plants, they’re loading it up on the conveyor belt one at a time and I usually help them out. It sucks that they have to do all that themselves. They should do the carts like they do at Trader Joe’s and save those folks the hassle. It would also help the lines go 99% faster.
Bagging
99 cent employees always double and sometimes triple bag. There must be some special 99 cent store policy that all things must be over bagged, put in their own bag, and/or have an unused bag attached to your bag that’s being used. One reason this could happen is because, their main clientele (old people) always want things double bagged, it must be something that happens when you pass 60 or something.
“Uh-Oh!”
This is a sound you hear when something rings up wrong. An actual human voice that comes from the cash register, “Uh-Oh!” Highly pitched and super annoying. It reminds me of this sound/thing that would happen when you played Mortal Kombat as a kid. Anyways, it’s so annoying and weird that it causes everyone to stop and think, “What the fuck was that?” And then start doing what they were doing so they scan the same thing again and it goes “Uh-Oh!” and the vicious cycle continues.
So go to the 99 cent store and find some bargains they’re there to be found. Wooden coat hangers? Got it. Need a bottle of wine to go with that 99 cent can of sardines? Got it. Hannah Montana stationary? Got it. One thing to watch out for is the produce. Most people won’t touch it and I know I’m one of those people. I’ve had some bad experiences and it’s just not worth it. Go find 99 reasons to spend 99 dollars at the 99 cent store and help an old person unload their cart.
I don’t remember if 99 cent stores existed anywhere else that I lived and I must have only been to one before I moved to LA. Now I go there a few times a week. It’s usually how I spend my morning and/or afternoon break. Browsing the aisles and paying with change. Today I went on my morning break because; I knew they had tin snips so I got those and some other provisions. The worst part about the store is the lines. WTF? Everything is 99 cents how come it takes so long to it ring up? Here are a few factors to consider:
Average age of shopper
The age of the average 99 cent store shopper is somewhere around 72 for males, 80 for females, and 76 for transgender persons. How did I get these stats? They are the average death ages for Americans. All these old people roaming around loading their carts with stuff. It must be convenient for them because, everything is cheap and they’re barely surviving on Medicare, also they only need to go to one store for everything. So now that they have toilet paper, hot pockets, and aloe plants, they’re loading it up on the conveyor belt one at a time and I usually help them out. It sucks that they have to do all that themselves. They should do the carts like they do at Trader Joe’s and save those folks the hassle. It would also help the lines go 99% faster.
Bagging
99 cent employees always double and sometimes triple bag. There must be some special 99 cent store policy that all things must be over bagged, put in their own bag, and/or have an unused bag attached to your bag that’s being used. One reason this could happen is because, their main clientele (old people) always want things double bagged, it must be something that happens when you pass 60 or something.
“Uh-Oh!”
This is a sound you hear when something rings up wrong. An actual human voice that comes from the cash register, “Uh-Oh!” Highly pitched and super annoying. It reminds me of this sound/thing that would happen when you played Mortal Kombat as a kid. Anyways, it’s so annoying and weird that it causes everyone to stop and think, “What the fuck was that?” And then start doing what they were doing so they scan the same thing again and it goes “Uh-Oh!” and the vicious cycle continues.
So go to the 99 cent store and find some bargains they’re there to be found. Wooden coat hangers? Got it. Need a bottle of wine to go with that 99 cent can of sardines? Got it. Hannah Montana stationary? Got it. One thing to watch out for is the produce. Most people won’t touch it and I know I’m one of those people. I’ve had some bad experiences and it’s just not worth it. Go find 99 reasons to spend 99 dollars at the 99 cent store and help an old person unload their cart.
3 comments:
Omg. I love this post! ...and I sure hope you told that lady touching the potatoes to beware of them.
This is a completely genius post. My favorite part is the break-out of average age of customer according to their place on the gender spectrum which corresponds to their life expectancy.
1. It is incredibly baffling to me that the BIG one is a block away from the OVERCRAMMED little one.
2.Last week when I was there shopping for the Smorg, some 20something, very attractive white guy poured bleach down the back of my racial profiling machine by paying with food stamps. Breaking down cultural stereotypes? Got it.
3.Also need to point out, they recently had to raise their prices to 99.99 cents. It's the economy stupid.
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